Saturday, March 18, 2017

No Soliciting!

 Before I became a district manager for Zomb. Inc I was like most of you. I paid my dues in the trenches and tore up gardens whenever I saw the chance. It's not always easy. The warm fleshbags have this annoying tendency to lock their gardens at night and run when they see us.
 My friend Sue has been in the business for 6 decades and she knows the importance of patience when lying in wait. And don't let inclement weather drive you off! Sue always brings her umbrella and deals with the elements with a smile on her face.
An added issue is the fact that the warm fleshbags have taken to bringing their plants inside when the weather turns cold. Breaking and entering is wrong on principle and can land a hard-working zombie in jail. But there are plants in there and they must be eradicated.
 The front door is usually guarded by a very loud noisemaker that summons the authorities so that's out. Dan here has discovered a rather effective technique for getting into houses where there are windows on the second floor. This is particularly effective when there already is a trampoline on the lot.
Thwarting the noisy device is difficult - do not attempt to defuse for you will be electrocuted! Magic is an untested technique but good on you, Luke, for giving it a shot!
Above all, don't give up! Every house has a weak spot. Just remain vigilant and inquisitive and you will find it!

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