Monday, July 18, 2016

An Old Woman's Words

Chelsea was known far and wide as the wisest woman in a tracksuit. One afternoon as she held court at the local spa the young women of the community came in humble supplication. She sat with them in the hot tub, sky-clad as was her custom, and shared the wisdom of her life with them.
"Cultivate family. They may be lovers, friends, children, or anyone you hold dear and holds you dear in return. Stand by them when they need you and lean on them when you need to. There may be times you feel yourself drifting - that is when you must strengthen the family bonds until you are rooted mountain-deep. Even a few words may do it."
 "Do not fear the unknown or failure. We all start off somewhere and sometimes we end up there again and again. Sometimes we must risk looking like a fool in front of those we love best. True friends will look beyond your missteps and will help you find your way again."
 "Enjoy what life brings you. Even the simplest pleasures - like a neighbour's music or the smile on a child's face - will light up your soul beyond the brightness of the sun. You will have these simple pleasures to hold when life's lemons are especially sour."
"Thank you for spending time with me, friends. Now the water's pruning me something awful so why don't we adjourn to the next room for further refreshment? I understand they've made us some big pitchers of lemonade. Thank you again and have a wonderful day."

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Winter Reports by IB4-U

 Winter Report #1
Preliminary findings suggest that my foot pads became faulty at some point this season. My gait and balance require some re-calibration as well. I have not been able to ascertain the cause for these issues.
My creator suggested that, with practice on the ice, my balance and foot pads would be corrected.
 Winter Report #2
I previously determined that snow is irrelevant and a nuisance. My creator advised me to 'enjoy myself' and sent me outside to 'have fun'. I observed some children making snow angels and made my own attempt while forming a hypothesis on the individuality of snowflakes.
 Winter Report #3
It has been two months since I filled out report #1. Since then my aptitude on the ice has increased to the point that I can execute axel jumps and salchows with relative ease. My creator's hypothesis was correct.
I also have a finding on my hypothesis on the individuality of snowflakes: forget that! I have a snow angel to make!
Winter Report #4 (Final Report)
During a trek through the snow I encountered a skeleton named Ossy. We discussed the dying days of winter and proper nutrition. Ossy then challenged me to a snowman making contest.
Here too my creator's advice was correct. My first winter was lots of fun and I enjoyed myself very much.

Report completed by Plumbot IB4-U.