Monday, September 21, 2015

Kristen and Brian: the Early Days

Brian's deep introspection lead him to understand that man should not be alone.
Kristen came to the conclusion that love was conducive to life.
New love, true love?
Brian and Kristen were both quite thoughtful and introspective people, and they agreed to a quick and casual ceremony. Brevity being the soul of wit and all that.
When the weather didn't cooperate Kristen ran in to get her bathing suit while Brian did a silly walk in the rain.
When the storm passed the young couple went to the park for a very casual reception.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

It's a Fair Cop, gov

The handsome fellow you're looking at is Officer Ficus. I'm just here to tell you about your friendly neighbourhood policedudes. We do much more than chat up the ladies. A large part of our work involves scummy curfew-breakers.
One of my brethren picked up this chap in the wee hours a few nights ago. All because he wanted to sneak a peek at the new bestsellers. A likely story!
Part of our job also involves vandals. Officer Fae here nabbed this law-breaker in a parking lot several nights ago. When he tried to bring her in, the scum had the cheek to ignore him to play Silly Goats! What a nasty character my wife - er - I mean - this woman is! Of course that's not my wife. Definitely not. Ah, moving along!
While we do get the occasional vandal most of our time gets spent catching curfew-breakers. Some of them are so desperate to not get caught that they try playing dead. As you can see, this doesn't work.
Luckily some of our perpetrators have the right idea; like this sensible young lady. Of course, if she was more sensible she wouldn't have gone scrimping at 4 in the morning.
That's all for now from your friendly neighbourhood policedudes. Keeping the community safe for young and old alike.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Vampire on the Beat

It takes a real man to clean up the mean streets of suburbia and to keep them safe. Officer Allan Ficus stepped up when no one else would. He's fearless, tough, and blessed with an almost vampiric tenacity. Being a blue-skinned vampire helps a little bit with that, doesn't it?
He got started working the night shift - the worst beat in town. His nights consisted of chatting up gorgeous women and asking them only the most provocative and penetrating questions. Most of them loved it when he whipped out his badge.
It wasn't always fun and excitement, however. He got sent out on KP duty frequently as punishment for sexual harassment. On one of these gloomy nights Allan found a few documents while sifting through the recyclables. He brought his find to his superior.
After a few more weeks of KP Allan was finally allowed to question the main suspect in the biggest case suburbia had ever seen. He met with Dirty Don, local kingpin and counterfeiter, at the local pool, and won the crook over with his sly charm.
Thanks to Allan's hard work Dirty Don's laundromat was quickly surrounded by suburbia's finest (except Allan himself - too busy with more KP) and the whole gang got rounded up and sent to jail pending trial. But Allan's hard work did not go unrewarded. He wore his new Tron suit with pride. Thus began his career as Vampire Cop. Stylish, shiny, and slapped a LOT.

The End