The handsome fellow you're looking at is Officer Ficus. I'm just here to tell you about your friendly neighbourhood policedudes. We do much more than chat up the ladies. A large part of our work involves scummy curfew-breakers.
One of my brethren picked up this chap in the wee hours a few nights ago. All because he wanted to sneak a peek at the new bestsellers. A likely story!
Part of our job also involves vandals. Officer Fae here nabbed this law-breaker in a parking lot several nights ago. When he tried to bring her in, the scum had the cheek to ignore him to play Silly Goats! What a nasty character my wife - er - I mean - this woman is! Of course that's not my wife. Definitely not. Ah, moving along!
While we do get the occasional vandal most of our time gets spent catching curfew-breakers. Some of them are so desperate to not get caught that they try playing dead. As you can see, this doesn't work.
Luckily some of our perpetrators have the right idea; like this sensible young lady. Of course, if she was more sensible she wouldn't have gone scrimping at 4 in the morning.
That's all for now from your friendly neighbourhood policedudes. Keeping the community safe for young and old alike.