In the beginning, there was a Man. He said, "Let there be dogs!" And there were dogs and they were good. They made the Man happy.
And there was a dog the Man loved so much he brought this dog into his own home. So blessed was this dog that it could even charm the dead and make them become as friends.
One day the Man said, "It is not right that a dog should be alone." Thus he brought into his home a companion for his dog. They one day united in great gladness and were never parted.
Time passed in the Man's house and soon two became four. Psi and Gamma begat Sigma and Tau - good strong children that cheered the Man's heart even more. They were inquisitive pups that had questions at times that their parents could not answer.
The gnome, out in the coldest reaches beyond the Man's house, found himself bitterly jealous of the Man's new wealth and joy and sought to claim the dogs for himself. After he cleaned their piddle from his head he sought dogs in his own likeness. And thus, even the jealous gnome was soon made happy.
In the warm summery night Psi and his son Tau, now a grown dog himself, ventured out to run and frolic. And the Man was happy with what he'd bought. And then he rested.
Kristen blamed it on the seafood she and Brian had eaten at supper. Even a medical intern would know the signs better but they'd been so careful. At any rate, after a quick visit to the hospital they learned it was a false alarm. But being six months pregnant, Kristen knew the real alarm was coming.
To keep his wife's mind off of the topic Brian sat down with her at the domino board and proceeded to lose 30 straight games to her. The man's love knows no depths.
To prepare for the new baby Brian got down to painting the house. With a spray can. A good thing he was so dedicated to his task - he didn't even see his wife applying her own little touches to his masterpiece.
Babies! Regina was the first to emerge, followed by the belligerent Robert. Kristen eventually went back to work, leaving Brian a reluctant Mr. Mom. Some days were harder than others. Regina was an absolute dream but Robert... well.
One weekend, while pondering matters intergalactic and watching her son as he finally got to dozing, Kristen had an idea. Space was one of her other interests - the Milky Way most of all. Was there a correlation between parenthood and the stars?
Kristen's proposal for a new form of breast-feeding, based on astronomical concepts, eventually fell by the wayside no matter how optimistic she was. Sad, as it opened up the possibility of men breast-feeding as well. And it seemed to quiet down Robert more than anything else.