Thursday, June 8, 2017

Thoughts of a True Contestant

"Okay, you've got this, Merril. You've been training every day for the last month on every sort of hot dog out there. You've eaten your weight in tofu and pork until you're sick of it. Remember; you're not in it to get ahead of anyone else. Your only opponent is you."
 "Ergh. This is tedious. Remember Kobayshi. You can do this, Merril. Two dogs a minute. Don't look at your opponents. You've got this."
DING! Merril's the winner!
"I did it! I knew I could do it! We did it, stomach! I am triumphant! Eat my dust (and those dogs), fools! I did it!"
"Urrrrrrrpppp. That was a nasty-tasting one. Ooh, my poor stomach. Toilet, toilet, toilet. Must get to the toilet. Ohhhh, I don't know if I'm going to make it. I am never going to eat another hot dog in my life ever again."

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Profile: Reilly Dell

A ginger Adonis is our Reilly. He owes a lot to his ancestor Parker for that delightful physique. Reilly is Merril's husband and father of 4 wonderful children. He wasn't very happy to be dragged out of bed in the early hours for this picture. No doubt he was having a lovely dream.
 When he was younger, Reilly loved nothing more than to take his rod and reel to the water and see what he could pull out of it.
 Later, he expanded his fishing to the ladies. During his early days with Merril he struggled into a pair of snake skin pants to try to impress her. It being the dead of winter, he quickly got a bad case of frostbite and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She found his desperation amusing and charming and soon they were married. Here Reilly is seen cuddling the first of his four children.

And no, he doesn't wear those pants anymore. Actually, they vanished from his wardrobe the very next day.

The End.