Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Vampire on the Beat

It takes a real man to clean up the mean streets of suburbia and to keep them safe. Officer Allan Ficus stepped up when no one else would. He's fearless, tough, and blessed with an almost vampiric tenacity. Being a blue-skinned vampire helps a little bit with that, doesn't it?
He got started working the night shift - the worst beat in town. His nights consisted of chatting up gorgeous women and asking them only the most provocative and penetrating questions. Most of them loved it when he whipped out his badge.
It wasn't always fun and excitement, however. He got sent out on KP duty frequently as punishment for sexual harassment. On one of these gloomy nights Allan found a few documents while sifting through the recyclables. He brought his find to his superior.
After a few more weeks of KP Allan was finally allowed to question the main suspect in the biggest case suburbia had ever seen. He met with Dirty Don, local kingpin and counterfeiter, at the local pool, and won the crook over with his sly charm.
Thanks to Allan's hard work Dirty Don's laundromat was quickly surrounded by suburbia's finest (except Allan himself - too busy with more KP) and the whole gang got rounded up and sent to jail pending trial. But Allan's hard work did not go unrewarded. He wore his new Tron suit with pride. Thus began his career as Vampire Cop. Stylish, shiny, and slapped a LOT.

The End

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