Be advised that there is a nasty disease currently making the rounds of your community. Symptoms include stomach cramps, wearing outlandish tights, and unmade beds.
Further along in the disease's course patients report vomiting and other unspeakably disgusting symptoms. Anyone suffering these symptoms should have bed rest, fluids, and foot massages courtesy of their significant other.
Males suffer different symptoms when dealing with this disease, it appears. Symptoms can include extreme fatigue and excessive sweating which can lead to overpowering body odour.
Treatment for males is similar to that for females; bed rest, plenty of fluids, and be certain to not eat any questionable meals. For instance, do not eat mac and cheese that emanates black smoke. This may hinder your recovery.