Saturday, May 1, 2010

Back thru da past

I'm a slave to nostalgia (esp. the 80's), and lately I've been looking through my older diaries. I'm coming across books I read several years ago and realize that I really should give these books another look. Maybe there's something I missed the last time. Then there's the many famous names I've dropped in between the pages. For instance, I mentioned something by Nietzsche but never got around to reading. Meanwhile, the month of May has dawned and there are only a few weeks before the end of the school. The EA's are already counting down the days. The teachers probably are as well, but I've only heard it from the EA's. I'm working out my plans for the summer. They involve (so far) putting more money away for a future development (Condo, anyone?) and perhaps taking lessons in some instrument (piano... or maybe join a choir - still undecided there).
On the literary front, I'm reading a stunning book called 'The Dzogchen primer', compiled and edited by Marcia Binder Schmidt. Makes me want to seek out a guru or a virtual sangha for my own spiritual progress. Ever feel like you're at a cross-roads or in a rut spiritually? That's kinda how I'm feeling right now. Actually, looking at my stance in a harsher light, I'm looking for some validation. Am I really on the right path? Why am I not seeing any change? Where do I go from here? Am I not doing enough? What's it going to take? Perhaps, if I really had a clear path, I wouldn't feel I need validation from anyone? Besides, is a guru really there to validate someone else's feelings? Not really. He/she's there to teach and keep you on the path. I don't think he/she's there to make you feel special and validated.
Maybe I'm just whining right now. This calls for more reflecting and longer diary entries! Oh, and one more thing. I'm starting to focus on the Baha'i faith. Since I saw those PSA's back in the early 90's, I've kept the Baha'i faith at the back of my mind. Now maybe it's time to explore this faith a little deeper. I'd also like to find those PSA's again. No luck on Youtube. Just keep looking, I guess. BYE.

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