Tick... tock... AUGH

6 days and counting.... I'm listening to New Order this evening and worrying that I'm quickly running out of time before the end of the school year. I need to get everything returned and paid up, and it seems like the kids could not care less. Maybe I'm just getting old in my thinking. Old and pessimistic... wait, I was already pessimistic to begin with... Yeah, I'm doing just fine. Meanwhile, I've done a ton of reading over the last few days and plan to do another ton before I go west for a week. I should also get some books for the trip. Now, I fear that I don't have a whole lot to say, so I'll post a blast from the past... Enjoy!

June 18, 2001, afternoon
A journey into the psyche has reaped very interesting rewards. There is a very good book called “Please Understand Me” by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, and it talks about temperament types. I have read from this book, done the rest and I have learned that I am INFJ. An INFJ is an Introvert/Intuitive/Feeling/Judging. I’ve known for a long time that I am an Introvert, but what does it all mean? This book explained it all to me. Introverts make up 25% of the population and they prefer solitude and are more territorial. That is very true for me. In addition, I rather enjoy being in select company. Society can have its extroverts; we introverts will have quiet contemplation. Now, The second letter can be either N(Intuitive) or S(sensation). 25% of the population are Intuitive. More preferred company issues. Will I ever be part of the 75%? Anyway, those who are N think in terms of awareness and sensitivity (sic?). Now, there is the third letter. F as in Feeling, compared with T for Thinking. Here there is a gender split. 60% of the female population are F compare to male population (60% are Thinkers). I believe more in values than in logic. Well, I guess that I am a majority somewhere. Now, that fourth letter is a J, or one who judges. Apparently, I prefer deadlines. Perhaps the test was wrong somehow. I don’t like deadlines. So, here is the final moment. I(25%) N(25%) F(50%) J(50%) (Feeling % - error on my part?) So, what does it all mean? INFJ’s make up about 1% of the population and are therefore very rare indeed. People like me are very reserved, are rumoured to have ESP, and are hurt easily by nasty (sic?) words. The diagnosis is very true. It has been quite a wonderful journey. Well, I will keep reading this interesting book at another time. Another journey into the psyche will await…. SYS.

Assorted mumbles

10 days to go until a well-deserved break. While the Canucks sucked and Vancouver was... mucked up..., I attended a nice little technology event after work. The computer lab fanatics showcased their awesome work for a handful of parents and a smaller handful of staff. I care little about hockey and I don't even have a TV, so I went and enjoyed the show. I went home last night feeling a little euphoric about the whole thing. Amazing how good I've felt lately. Things are feeling very right for me these days. I don't know how else to explain it. Again, it could just be knowing that the end is very much in sight. Today was the last actual school day for the kids and next week will be activities and the like. Of course, the library will be open during lunch and I'll enjoy yelling at my favourite annoyances for a few more days. On the other hand, I've been doing my librarian's job of late as well (providing information), which really made me feel good. Next week I'll be closing the library for a couple of days to get some inventory done. Feeling pretty good about that as well.
Listening to 'Reveal' by the awesome R.E.M. this evening, which continues the happiness for me. It's such a summery album.
On the literary front, I've nearly come to the end of 'The shape of things to come' by H.G. Wells. I was inspired to find this book by TCM, which showed the movie adaptation a few months back. The book (natch) is better than the movie, but I'm astounded at how good it is. The writing is informative and clear, and I'm really enjoying it. Of course, other minds might say it's Saharan in nature and I would agree. Compared to the movie, however.... I plan to visit this book in a year's time as well just to see if I still like it as much as I do now. I hope to have more info concerning the book posted here once I've come to the end of it. The big Dad's Day is this Sunday. There's a plan in place, and this time we're prepared for it. I apologize for the shortness of this entry. I need to get back to reading. BYE.

Happiness abounds? Zounds!

Maybe it's just the change of the season, with the days growing longer and warmer. Maybe it's knowing that summer vacation is only days away. Whatever the reason, I've been feeling bouncier and more relaxed of late. There's a lightness in my soul that I cannot explain. I started feeling this toward the end of last week, and my mood has yet to change. Oh yes; I'm still a doubting, distrusting, pessimistic misanthrope who would rather cower in her hole rather than venture out further into the world and embrace pure idealism, but I'm happier while I cower. I'm thinking it's because the school year is coming to an end and I'm getting ready for summertime and its adventures. I'm getting a little excited about the upcoming trip west with Mom - maybe that's part of it as well. I will also be pleased to say goodbye to the kids for a while. I'll be seeing most of them again in September, but they're done with the year and I think I'm ready to join them. A number of teachers and EA's agree with me, which is a relief.
I finished reading a twin-spin by Nietzsche recently and I greatly enjoyed it this second time. Now I just want to get my hands on 'Ecce homo'. Of late I've been tossing the phrase about in my head. It means 'Behold the man', and has been the subject of numerous paintings. It's what Pontius Pilate announced to the bloodthirsty public when he had Jesus brought out before them. I'm not sure what Nietzsche's take on the phrase will be, but it was the last book (if I recall correctly) he wrote before his psyche became more than he could handle. He never recovered, which is unfortunate. Meanwhile, I'm going to start reading 'The Tao of Physics', which sounds something like a contradiction in terms. I want to see if it is or if the two concepts can work together. I guess that's all I have to say where work and reading are concerned. I still have no idea why I'm feeling so buoyant of late.
When I figure it out, I'll let you know. BYE.

Is Society to Blame?

Such an overused question. I blame my study of B.F. Skinner, which I just finished reading, for the title of this post. Actually, I'm going to talk about blame (playing the blame game, taking the blame, etc...). I've been hearing the following cry from a couple of my more annoying regulars. "It's not me, it's X's fault!" I reply, "You are in control of your own fate, and X is not to blame if I have to kick you out." On the other hand, when two young'uns act upon each other's merry chaos, it only makes sense for both to suffer the consequences of their actions. I fear I've garnered a rep for being something of a pushover, and only now, at the close of the year, am I clamping down. I guess I'll know better for next year. But I digress. Passing the buck isn't going to help matters. But what about Society? Thousands of interactions happening per second every day around the world; it's easy for one speck in the universe to feel a little lost.
I told myself I was not going to bring karma into this discussion, but my Semi-Buddhist Eyes will not leave it alone. While we are in control of our own fates, there are so many connections and interactions per second, per day, and per life, that others eventually may have to share at least some blame. That's where compassion comes in. When things, be they good or ill, happen to you, you can at least take comfort in knowing that these same things have happened to everyone else. There are many ways one can look at blame and at Society, and each way ends in a great deal of complication and confusion. And now I find myself quickly getting confused in what I really wanted to say. That's the way things work for me sometimes.
In the meantime, I'm going to start reading Nietzsche and count the days until the end of June. BYE.