Not that I was down in the dumps before, but Spring Break officially starts now, and I've got a week of rest and relaxation ahead of me. I'm reading 'Mejda: the family and the early life of Paramahansa Yogananda' but I should have that done before I leave with the gals on Wednesday for Fargo. I should be either deep in stuff about the samurai or deep in Book 2 of the Raj Quartet. Sooner or later, I knew I'd find myself entrenched in matters spiritual of one form or another. This evening, while driving home from the family homestead, I ventured down familiar paths of constant impermanence and the perceptions of others. It's not a matter of what others think of you that counts (at least, it shouldn't matter once you've moved on), but how others have perceived you will determine how you're mourned.
Being mourned is inevitable, as no matter how terrible a person you were, someone is going to remember the good choices you made once and will mourn you based on those good choices. Saints have flaws and monsters have virtues, no matter what anyone else is going to say about it. Good cannot exist without evil, so everybody is going to be mourned. Even if nobody comes to your funeral, someone is going to mourn in their heart for you. Nobody is completely anonymous forever. By the way, I have no idea why I ventured down this path - I don't see myself as being morbid (paranoid, certainly), but anyone who reads this post might perceive me as such. Will that be among the things said at my funeral? 'She was introspective to the point of being morbid and self-deprecating to the point of non-existence'. I've heard of worse perceptions. I can live with that (not that I would care by then).
I was thinking today about what I would do if I had 5 seconds to live (thanks to this game) and I guess that's why I got to thinking about everything else. Games. Keep'em. Anyway, that's about all. BYE.