Au revoir, ma maman

 She died on the 27th. Not long after I posted the previous entry, the hospice called. I got there as soon as I could. This saga has had many surreal moments. Spending time with my mother after she passed was (probably) the final moment. The staff at Grace Hospice are caring and attentive; not just to the residents but to their families as well.

  So... yeah. Now mi hermana and I have the celebration of life to plan out. Lots of details in the process of life after someone has died. We met yesterday with someone who has been through this process and they gave us plenty of answers. Yeah... lots of phone calls and meetings ahead still.

  I won't lie. This past 7 months has been heartbreaking and difficult. How can we not feel anything but relief? What I am having a hard tme with is the outpouring of sympathy and offers to help from people who refused to give a damn about our feelings (or our mother's) while we struggled through this odyessy of grief. You offer to help and listen to us now? Where the plumbob were you several months ago?

  Anyway, I'm a little on the infuriated side with some people. Of course, these 'offers' may turn disastrous if accepted. Mom had a plan for her funeral and my sister and I are carrying out her plan; not theirs. Apologies for this very long entry. Been a while since I posted a long piece, eh?

  Besides that, life is okay. I hope you, my two or three followers, are doing well. At least it's Spring Break. Plenty of time to relax and stuff.

BYE. 

Ending and beginning

 So I finally joined the Duolingo cult. Long may that owl haunt me with ravings to take my language lessons! Duolingo doesn't do Tagalog - what's up with that? The only indigenous language they do have is Navajo - again, what's up with that? So eu sou going to give Porteguese um try. Now I just need a Portuguese keyboard to make that bloody owl happy.

  So... Mom. It's slow but steady. She has not reached the final stage but... we are getting ever closer. My sister and I know what needs to be done once it happens. Anyway, that is all for now.

BYE.

Heho!

 It's warming up and the Festival du Voyageur is in full swing. Tons of activities going on at work today. And outdoor recess at long last! Happy kids and delighted staff. Oh, and it's Friday. Can't really complain, can I?

 Mom is being moved to hospice. 1-3 months prognosis. As long as she makes it to her birthday. That's all I can ask for. Longer would be good but the Crab's got a brutal timetable. I'll keep you in th loop as to how thing are in her 'forever home'.

  That's all I have to say. May the two or three folks still following this blog be safe and warm.

BYE.

Point of no return

 Well, that's probably the situation. Mom's in palliative care now. The place looks nice enough. Mi hermana and I are going to visit her this evening.

 I figured out something of a work-around to keep the error code from popping up. Not the most brilliant decision on my part as it's just trying to outrun the inevitable - much like my Mom's situation - but meh.

 Reading a lot of good books lately. That's summat, I guess.

BYE.

Welp, here she comes!

 Yup. If all goes well, Mom will be home this Tuesday. If she could literally bounce off the walls, she would. My delight is muted for some reason. I guess it's "until it actually happens, we'll see" with me. This road's been long and difficult for my sister and I.

 And indoor recess over the last two days. Erp. Anyway, that's what has been going on with me. Also, 'Yankee privateer' is not worth reading.

BYE.

Thank ye!

 Happy Thanksgiving! I'm especially grateful that I did not appear to get a concussion after I banged my poor brainbox yesterday. I'm also grateful that Austen's 'Persuasion' is behind me. Nothing could persuade me to read it again.

 Dinner at Mom's this evening. Neko's wandering around wondering why I haven't yet fed her. About half an hour to go before then. Nothing like a four day work week. The weather is going to be nice this week coming up. Another thing to be grateful for.

  All the best to you, my two or three followers. If you're from the States, your turn will come for the turkey! So, that's all for now

BYE.

Angry Friday, Great Saturday

       So my fuse is short. Four-day week because of Thanksgiving (Canadians first, ye Yanks) but that was three days too longer for my lack of good temper. I was not the only one who felt this way. Burnout and it's just October. That was yesterday, anyway. Today I went to my cousin's baby shower - we were all double vaxxed - and I got to see (and hug) some of the best extended family members I know. My memère is going to get a fourth great-grandchild next month. Girls outnumber boys in my family, and have for three generations. My memère had four daughters and one son; at my level, there are three grandsons vs. six granddaughters. At the next level down, there are two girls and one boy, and a third girl on the way.

     It was a lovely baby shower. My cousin got everything but the kitchen sink in the gifting, and she had insisted we not play any games. My esteem for her was already high, but it went through the roof today. Anyway, it's been a while since I posted anything so here you go. It rained a bit this past week but is clear and cool today. I also got to meet my other cousin's son - the last time I saw him, he was in his mom's belly. So many hugs. The little guy has a perfectly frowny face and fusses a little. Moves like a snake across the floor if you put him on his stomach.

    That's all I have for you. No pics today.

BYE.

A lovely visit

       Met with my memère for the first time since Boxing Day last year. Thanks to the miracle of vaccination, I was able to hug her and have some lunch under her roof. She's 94 and looking forward to her 4th great-grandchild. She was as thrilled to see me as I was to see her. Then I texted my mom when I got home. She's at the lake right now. A lovely Tuesday afternoon. How are you all doing? Gotten yer vaccine yet? Please do it - such a liberating feeling.

       I am reading a Chris Ryan novel and pondering the dark underbelly of international politics. I've come to the conclusion that world peace may never be truly realized as there can never be a universal interpretation of the concept. Call me a pessimist but your idea of world peace is never going to be the spitting image of mine. There will always be subtle differences.

       A short entry, but I have very little else to say right now.

BYE.

Why is Tumblr?

       This elderly hag taps her wrinkled chin with a yellowed claw and ponders Tumblr. Is getting a Tumblr worth it? I'll probably go for months between posting stuff on there and just stop caring about it. If anyone can tell me what the benefit might be, know that I will be most grateful. As it is, I have to keep reminding myself to post stuff on this blog even though I have nothing worth posting. Well, there's Sims stuff, I guess.

 

      Anyway, I'm getting older next week. All I want for my birthday is dinner at a restaurant with my immediate family but COVID-19, as ever, has other ideas. It has been nearly a year since the pandemic crashed on our prairie shores, and it's not going anywhere for the time being. I am listening to the miracle that is cyriak tonight. Holy doodle, is this messed-up. Not that I'm complaining. Great way to spend a Thursday evening. I first caught a glimpse of cyriak's glory when I watched something about cows. My life was forever changed. Not that I needed any help to be completely messed-up. It's wild and it's unique, and that's what's important.

     Take care and stay well, all of you wonderful types. Now that I think of it, I probably won't get myself a Tumblr. I'm old-school and that's the way I've always been.

BYE.

Fluctuations and other stuff

      Manitoba's current number of active cases stands again at 35. We were, last week, at 30 but stuff happened and now we're back at 35. Where are all those lovely recoveries we should be having? Manitoba needs to rival Newfoundland. In the grand scheme of things, especially compared to what's going on with our southern neighbours, we're doing remarkably well. Still, it would be nice to rival the Newfies. Anyway, I took a break from isolating by going to my Mom's to celebrate Mother's Day. My brother-in-law went to see his family for Mother's Day and I spent it with Mom and my sister. Not going to turn down BBQ peppercorn steak for any reason.

     May I say that my brother-in-law is a really great guy, by the way? Anyway, I have not been simming as much as I could be. Not with Path of Exile and my ranger needing attention. Hard to get used to the touchpad. I'm more comfortable with a mouse but I should get used to the touchpad. That's what Goat Simulator is for, I guess. And for ramming people into pools and off buildings, of course. I'd forgotten how messed up and fun that game is. It makes my compy scream, on the other hand. My lappy can handle it better.

     Kids can play on playgrounds here in Manitoba again. Just have to remember that social distancing comes into play still. I cannot imagine how things are going to work when school opens up again. And how library periods are going to change to make it all work out. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. And that is all for this miserable wretch. Hope the two or three people following my blog have a good day and that you are staying safe wherever you are. I will continue to isolate and hope for the best.

   And command my sims, of course.

BYE.

*Thanks to the websites of the Governments of Manitoba, North Dakota, and Newfoundland for the pandemic information. Information is current for today and may change without notice.

Something on the Weekend

         A word to the few: if you've read 'Fight club' and would like to read more of Chuck Palahniuk, I would give 'Beautiful you' a miss. This book was my first foray into the works of the man and, like many people on Goodreads, I have found this to be an awful book. I will, in time, give Palahniuk another go - his other pieces have to be better than this waste of paper and ink, right?

        Choppy writing, dislikable characters, and nothing that could be considered as funny. This is not a proper representation of satire - he missed by a country mile if that's what he was aiming for. Had the book been longer I would have marked it Did Not Finish and continued merrily with my life. Perhaps this book was a poor choice for first foray. That's why I will try his works again and see how it turns out.

        It was Father's Day today. Mom and my sister picked up some flowers, water, and a little broom and we went to pay my pepère, my grandma and grandpa, and Dad a visit. We said hi to the gloried dead, swept dead grass away from their plaques, and put flowers into their vases. It will be three years since Dad did battle with the Crab and lost. I felt a small lump in my throat even today. We also paid a visit to some of my mom's aunts and cousins who departed a long time ago. Can you imagine the card game they must be having up there now?

         Elsewhere on the literary frontier, I'm reading an excellent book by the late Vladimir Pozner. "The disunited states". He departed when I was 12. I expect to have nothing but good things to say about this book when I'm done. I keep reaching for it - you know a book is good when you're trying to pace yourself but keep failing at it.

         That is all for now. I'm taking a bit of a break from my dear sims today but, like me trying to pace myself, that might not last.

Now, in honour of Father's Day... some dads!

Paulson men playing darts.

IF father and daughter.

Never walking in on a romantic moment. Who said Dads can't make memorable entrances?











BYE.

Impressive

      I attended a celebration of life of my aunt's second husband. She was married once before, as was he. They met at a 'new beginnings' meeting and soon grew very close. He'd struggled with the savage Crab in the past and we all thought he'd beaten it but you know how tenacious cancer can be. It came back for a grudge match and this time it was the victor.

     Ernest Gautron's passion for life was matched only by his love for his boys and for my aunt. They married in 2016 but had been getting closer and closer since 2007. He relished new experiences and chased life with great zeal. I only talked to him on occasion and only during family gatherings. Luckily we had many of those. When he talked with you he gave you his full attention and you got the sense that he enjoyed talking with you. He was deeply spiritual and I'd like to think he got fast-tracked into Les Cieux as soon as he passed on.

     The celebration was well-attended; clearly this man had made deep impressions on so many others. His family graced the podium and told stories about his life. It was a lovely afternoon. I got to see many of my relatives - my memère having sent out the all-call to our extended family letting them know about the celebration. It's tragic that I only get to see the extendeds during weddings or funerals. Why is this the way it works?

     I call Ernest my aunt's second husband because I remember her first husband as my uncle. I am a little fuzzy on how divorce works in the uncle department but my childhood remembers him as my uncle. I preferred Ernest - let's be real there - but I just cannot call him uncle. Don't ask me why. Maybe a faulty wire somewhere in my head. Anyway, that was how I spent my afternoon. It was a beautiful day for a funeral - clear sky overhead and not too warm. The church parking lot was crazy packed but I managed to find a place to park.

     Three more weeks before the end of the school year. Sigh.


BYE.

Au revoir

      The last time I had something very sad to report was when Dad died in September 2016. That was a sad, surreal time if I recall correctly. Today I have other sad news to report. My Pepère passed away around 2 this morning. He was 92 and one of the greatest grandfathers I have ever known. The other greatest one passed away in 2011.

     Pepère and Memère had five children and 9 grandchildren. This past year they welcomed their second great-grandchild into the family. For years they owned a cabin at Wallace Lake, which is nearly three hours northeast of Winnipeg. I remember endless summer days of swimming, lazing around, and long walks in the evening after supper. Memère turns 91 this February. They would have celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary this year.

     Pepère's brother had a cabin across the road and for years they went back and forth to play cards. I'd like to think Pepère is with his brother and other relatives playing cards right now. And fishing. Endless days on the lake with rod, reel, and minnows. That was where, I'd like to think, Pepère found his bliss.

92 is a long time but now it just doesn't seem like nearly enough.

Au revoir et merci, Pepere. Tu vas me manquer.

Feeling...

    I go back to work tomorrow. To be honest I don't have very much to say. The past two weeks were relaxing and great. Yeah, my car battery gave up the ghost over the New Year but that cold snap was heartless. CAA made great business in my neck of the world and I suspect various garages did all right as well. As it stands, I have tentative plans to trade in my ancient wreck for a sleek new set of wheels but that won't be until Spring Break.
    The weather should be lovely for a while but rest assured that there will be another cold snap coming before long. Best to count one's blessings and not worry. Anyway, this is not going to be Sims-related in the least. I am just wandering at this point. I may post a few pics one of these days but I am done telling stories for a while. I got tired of playing families for a while there - I was playing a fairy dude. He's on his way to becoming Emperor of Evil now. I had him adopt a couple of children - one got into crime as well while I moved the other out to start her own life.
     A wizard I was playing as well really got into the ice spell. I had no idea of what might happen if he used the ice blast spell a lot.

       Luckily, the unfortunate people he iced went back to normal on their own. I don't know if this spell can be used to kill anyone and I am not blood-thirsty enough to try.


      I got to see my Memere and Pepere over Christmas Week and today. They are 90 and 92 respectively so I treasure every day I know that they are well and still walking the earth. I lost my Grandpa and Grandma already so I treasure the grandparents I have left. This past year my Pepere's had issues with his heart and I know the end is coming. This is the wrench of hard realities - something Mom and my uncle and aunts have to deal with.
     During dinner on Boxing Day I listened to them as they talked and discussed the future. Memere and Pepere were too tired to attend. That was a scary absence. One day that will be a permanent absence. For now, just count the blessings and pray they last. Anyway, I'm going to stop before I start rambling and getting teary.
BYE.

Hateful Crab!

        Not Sims-related in the least. Just me in the middle of a rage. As the two or three of you who check out this blog regularly know, I lost my Dad last September when the Crab came back for a second assault. It was officially a heart attack that took him but he'd stopped eating and was coughing a lot. The autopsy confirmed the presence of cancer in his liver and lungs. I know that cancer can come back more than once and that one is never truly safe and/or cured until they die of something completely unrelated to it. This was shocking and terrible, but not a total surprise.
       The Crab took away Alan Rickman, David Bowie, and many other wonderful people last year. I'm hoping it's just that it's been reported and announced more these days - otherwise it might seem like the number of cancer-related deaths is rising. There was a time when cancer was a dirty little secret and kept buried away in the family skeleton closet. Now there are more people surviving it because it's caught early enough for treatments to work. I'm still working through my feelings as far as Dad's passing goes. He's not here with us and he should be. It's called saudade from the Portuguese language (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade) and I'm neck-deep in it.
       Why am I yammering about this now? My grandma died from cancer as well - pancreatic; what took Bowie and Rickman away so quickly - and hearing about anyone dying from it saddens and angers me just a bit. It was seeing the following news that just caused me to explode a bit.

http://globalnews.ca/news/3252212/stewart-mclean-vinyl-cafe-dead/

       I love the 'Vinyl Cafe' books and admired Stuart McLean to no end. Losing him at the age of 68 hurts. As a result, I am sad and angry once again and just getting my rage on in here. Rest in Peace, honoured man. You shall never be forgotten in the Canadian heartlands and small towns. You shall be treasured and your books praised for many years to come.
      Okay. I am going to close this up before I need to break out the Kleenex.

Babbies and Hobbies

Kristen blamed it on the seafood she and Brian had eaten at supper. Even a medical intern would know the signs better but they'd been so careful. At any rate, after a quick visit to the hospital they learned it was a false alarm. But being six months pregnant, Kristen knew the real alarm was coming.

To keep his wife's mind off of the topic Brian sat down with her at the domino board and proceeded to lose 30 straight games to her. The man's love knows no depths.

 To prepare for the new baby Brian got down to painting the house. With a spray can. A good thing he was so dedicated to his task - he didn't even see his wife applying her own little touches to his masterpiece.

Babies! Regina was the first to emerge, followed by the belligerent Robert. Kristen eventually went back to work, leaving Brian a reluctant Mr. Mom. Some days were harder than others. Regina was an absolute dream but Robert... well.

 One weekend, while pondering matters intergalactic and watching her son as he finally got to dozing, Kristen had an idea. Space was one of her other interests - the Milky Way most of all. Was there a correlation between parenthood and the stars?

Kristen's proposal for a new form of breast-feeding, based on astronomical concepts, eventually fell by the wayside no matter how optimistic she was. Sad, as it opened up the possibility of men breast-feeding as well. And it seemed to quiet down Robert more than anything else.



The End

Feeling my age

      I guess it's knowing that 35 is just over a month away that got me thinking the deeper thoughts. I rarely use this blog for anything besides pictures and videos but tonight I just felt like writing. 2 decades ago I was filled with dread about the future but at the same time yearning for some sort of independence that I probably wanted my parents to pay for. I have said many times that teachers and EAs have a special kind of patience. To be honest, I think only really good and really dedicated parents surpass teachers and EAs when it comes to patience. It boggles my mind when I look back upon my journal entries from my teen years and how bloody arrogant I was at times. My sister is 4 years my junior and we had some rough times - how did our parents put up with it all? I humbly bow to all teachers, EAs, and especially to my parents for their near-boundless patience. You find it within you every day to go to those places I cannot and you work so hard wondering if your efforts may be for naught at the end of the 13-18 years. Pranam.
      2005 continues to be a special year for me for two reasons. Firstly, our family had to say goodbye to one of the most wonderful and amazing people I have ever shared the path with. Jessie Beaudin was only 78 when pancreatic cancer came to town and drew her away. I will never forget all the times she brought my sister and I downtown to do a bit of shopping, all the wonderful meals and card games, and all the love she brought to us. It was a very hard year for my Dad and especially for my Grandpa, and I know Grandma will be on my Dad's mind a fair bit this year. Secondly, around the time Grandma passed away, I was looking into taking a course at RRC. Mom saw I was getting tired of working the front end and she asked me if I'd ever thought of being a library technician. I applied and the rest is history.
       So here I am at the tail-end of 34 and running through the deep questions. I've probably gone over such questions in my journals before and I probably have part-answers to them. Tonight I decided to draw up a quick list of 10 such questions. In no particular order...

1. Would you rather be too tall (6'5 and up) or too short (5'0 and down)?
2. Does your dream job match your current job?
3. Do you remember your dreams in the morning?
4. Assuming money and time were of no concern, would you rather have pets or kids?
5. Do you re-read books? How often and why?
6. Which is worse for you? High humidity or dry heat?
7. Does the approach of death scare you?
8. Do you (or did you once) keep a journal? Why did you give it up?
9. Was there a birthday you were excited about or one that you dreaded?
10. Do you yearn for the past or are you content with the present?

    I haven't included my answers to these questions - these are just for the handful of people who come here to read my meaningless scribbles. If you do want my take on these questions, feel free to ask in the comments dealie. May you all have a wonderful weekend and may you all remain in light.

Strange feeling

Will the whole summer feel like one long Sunday? Why do I feel like I need to go to work in the morning? I'm done until September now! What the heck?!

Anyway, time for a couple more pics from my Sims family; now in it's 7th generation.
Cute kid in Frannie's arms, eh? That's Otto, and he might not look bad-tempered right now, but he will be. Here's Otto in his teen years. There's been a thread of creativity running through the clan since the 1st or 2nd generation. Be it the written word or the visual medium, this is a talented family. I admire folks who have reached the 11th or 12 generation. I'm already getting tired of these guys.
Anyway, that's about it. Happy Canada Day!

Happy Birthday!

Not to me, but to one of the most wonderful people I know. Mother's Day is not for another month, but my Mom's birthday is tomorrow, and I wanted to celebrate her day before the rest of the family does. My mom was born on Easter Sunday 56 years ago tomorrow. Easter Sunday has not fallen on her birthday since then. She's had her fair share of Friday the 13th's, though. I would not say she's unlucky because of it. She's been married for over 30 years, has two lunatic offspring and a gargantuan old cat, and is enjoying her first year of retirement from life as a registered nurse. Kudos to my mom!
A little history about her. She was born in a small town in Manitoba and lived on the family farm until she was five. She is the second of five living children (and certainly the most sensible of all of them). Her family moved to Winnipeg and she got married in the mid-70's. For any Canadians listening, she attended Expo 67 during a Girl Guides trip. That would've been cool to see. Anyway, at the dawn of the 80's she had her first little lunatic and she and dad moved west. (Apparently, I cried all the way there and all the way back two years later, but enough about me) After a succession of moves back in Winnipeg, my mom and dad settled down long enough to have my bespectacled sister. Then one last move (Halloween 1985, and we haven't moved since) and mom was hard at work in the nursing home until her recent retirement.
My mom's quite a traveller these days. Mexico every February with dad and cross-border shopping with my sister. Since her retirement, she's rediscovered television and likes CSI and Criminal Minds. I would love to see her get back into reading, but that will come when it comes. I cannot imagine what will happen in the future, but I think my mom's going to do really well. No grandchildren yet, but she's said she really doesn't want any right now.
I love my mom for her incredible patience and her sense of humour. May the next 56 years be just as rewarding for her! Bonne fête, ma mère!