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Saturday, January 21, 2017

Profile: Allan Dowdy

 Meet Allan Dowdy. A confident father of three who likes nothing better than riding the waves on his trusty windsurfer. Today the weather was great and the water called, so he suited up and left the kids with the sitter.
 Oh yeah, and he's a vampire. His day-trips on the water don't last very long and it's a pain getting a sitter who will watch the tykes all night. Lucky for him that he's a well-respected man in the community.
 Did I mention he's also a criminal? Luckily it's just low-level stuff but there was that one time when he was locked up for a month following his crimes against fashion. But he doesn't let the stress get to him at all. He's very thorough in keeping himself clean and proper in his other dealings.
 Okay, that's going a bit far, Allan. (Could someone shift the camera or changed the slide, please?)
The life of a blue-skinned opportunistic vampiric wave-rider is fraught with danger and excitement. But, as you can see, Allan's also a devoted family man who just likes to stay home on Sundays and read the paper.


The End?

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Enrichment at Zomb Inc.

 Hello. I'm Dr. Necrosis. As a member of Zomb Incorporated's empowerment team, I host enrichment workshops for middle management. Are you feeling sick and tired? Feeling like you're just a rotting cog on the gibbet of life? We all go through that.
 You aren't alone. Talk to someone about what's troubling you. A family member, a trusted co-worker, or your doctor. Even if there's nothing troubling you it's better to share your story with people around you. Don't forget your friends, either. They know when you're having a bad day and can help you out.
   Appearance is important. The better you feel, the better you look. Your friends, family, and co-workers can help here as well with any advice on gash and gangrene care. The empowerment team is also on hand with advice and suggestions on various products.
   Keep active! We zombies can handle pretty much any sort of weather so there's no reason to stick around the graveyard. Winter is our slow season, so get out on a frozen pond with a pal and skate the night away. It's exhilarating, good exercise, and guaranteed you'll sleep better when you're done.
  January and February are tough months for our company. Just take the slow season as it comes and remember that the enrichment team at Zomb. Inc. is always on hand to answer any questions you may have. And I am always available to hold a workshop - just give me a call.

Have a wonderfully decrepit New Year!